I settled on using the Wave Share Spot Pear 3.5" resistive touchscreen.

It does not work out of the box because the default setting on a raspberry pi is to use the HDMI port as the video out.

The users manual for the touchscreen has instructions, but they skip over the step of how to install the drivers.... which was a difficult step for me. So I found this wiki linked from the manufacturer's page which helped a lot with the step by step instructions on installing the touchscreen drivers. waveshare.com/wiki/3.5inch_RPi_LCD_(A)

Anyway, I now feel incredibly proud that my project is back on track :)